PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Bad and Worse
IT COULD BE WORSE...
Bad: You can't use your classroom after school because parents and administrators are meeting in there.
Worse: They are meeting to talk about you.
Bad: Eight of your students complained of nausea and had to go to the nurse's office.
Worse: Six other nauseous students didn't make it that far.
Bad: Someone keeps calling the principal to complain about how poorly supervised your students are.
Worse: The phone calls are coming from your classroom.
Bad: A parent is driving you crazy with her endless complaints about your classroom and your teaching.
Worse: She already has requested you for her younger child next year.
Bad: You can't use your classroom after school because parents and administrators are meeting in there.
Worse: They are meeting to talk about you.
Bad: Eight of your students complained of nausea and had to go to the nurse's office.
Worse: Six other nauseous students didn't make it that far.
Bad: Someone keeps calling the principal to complain about how poorly supervised your students are.
Worse: The phone calls are coming from your classroom.
Bad: A parent is driving you crazy with her endless complaints about your classroom and your teaching.
Worse: She already has requested you for her younger child next year.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Quotable quotes
“When a boy or girl thrust their small hand into yours, it may be smeared with chocolate ice cream, or grimy from patting a dog. There may be a wart under the right thumb and a bandage around the little finger. But the important thing about their hand is, that it is the hand that one day will be holding a bible or a revolver.... play a piano or spin a gambling wheel... gently dress a lepers wound or tremble uncontrolled by an alcoholic mind.. right now that hand is yours... - It asks for help and guidance” - (Unknown).
Monday, October 23, 2006
Slow Dance
The following inspirational poem was written by a teenager with cancer for her doctor. It’s message is one for us all to ponder when we consider what is really important in our lives…..
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids on a merry go round?
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Or ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down. Don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head?
You’d better slow down – don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow”?
And in your haste, not seen his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
Cause you never had time to call and say “Hi.”
You’d better slow down – don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift…… thrown away.
Life is not a race. Do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over.
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids on a merry go round?
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Or ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down. Don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head?
You’d better slow down – don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow”?
And in your haste, not seen his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
Cause you never had time to call and say “Hi.”
You’d better slow down – don’t dance too fast.
Time is short. The music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift…… thrown away.
Life is not a race. Do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Learn to be aware
“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.” -- Beryl Markham
Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch ourselves in action. We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.
“To be authentic is literally to be your own author …, to discover your own native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them.” -- Warren G. Bennis
“Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives.” -- Vernon Howard
Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch ourselves in action. We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.
“To be authentic is literally to be your own author …, to discover your own native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them.” -- Warren G. Bennis
“Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives.” -- Vernon Howard
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Belief
"What you believe yourself to be, you are."
-- Claude M. Bristol
Do you believe, deep down inside of you, that you can succeed in what you want to do? Beliefs are strong, and they have the power to attract what is believed to us. If we doubt our ability to succeed, if we in fact believe we WON'T succeed, then sure enough, that’s what will happen.
What do you believe about yourself? You have the power to change your beliefs, and that will change your outcome. Set goals you believe you can accomplish. Your beliefs will shape your actions. As you achieve these goals, you'll begin to believe you are capable of succeeding and of doing even more.
"It is better to believe than to disbelieve; in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility."-- Albert Einstein
"Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution."-- Dr. David Schwartz
Henri Frederic Amiel "We could hardly wait to get up in the morning”
-- Claude M. Bristol
Do you believe, deep down inside of you, that you can succeed in what you want to do? Beliefs are strong, and they have the power to attract what is believed to us. If we doubt our ability to succeed, if we in fact believe we WON'T succeed, then sure enough, that’s what will happen.
What do you believe about yourself? You have the power to change your beliefs, and that will change your outcome. Set goals you believe you can accomplish. Your beliefs will shape your actions. As you achieve these goals, you'll begin to believe you are capable of succeeding and of doing even more.
"It is better to believe than to disbelieve; in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility."-- Albert Einstein
"Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution."-- Dr. David Schwartz
Henri Frederic Amiel "We could hardly wait to get up in the morning”
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Education Article
The Age, Melbourne, April 24, 2006 A new study reveals what makes a great teacher, reports Caroline Milburn.
THE difference between the best teachers of young children and ineffective teachers is not what they do, but how they do it. A landmark study of Australia's primary schools has revealed that all prep and grade 1 teachers tend to teach the same literacy activities, such as shared book reading, modelled writing and phonics. But their success depends on how they present the activities.
The study, commissioned by the Federal Government, sought to identify effective teaching practices that lead to improved literacy of students in the first two years of school. The literacy skills of 2000 children in every state and territory were assessed at the start and the end of the year. A team of researchers then visited schools in Victoria, NSW, Queensland and Tasmania to observe children and their teachers in the classroom.
The study found all of the teachers were able to get their students to take part in classroom activities and have some fun. However, the most effective teachers - those whose students made the biggest literacy gains over the year - drew on a much wider repertoire of teaching practices. They explained activities more clearly, had deeper subject knowledge, maintained a high level of intellectual challenge for their students and had more fun than did less-effective teachers. "Good teachers are able to figure out where every child is at and set them a task that's hard for them," said Professor William Louden, dean of education at the University of Western Australia, who led the team of researchers, together with Associate Professor Mary Rohl, of Edith Cowan University.
"Good teachers had the most fun in their classrooms: the lessons were lively, fast-paced, and full of jokes and little classroom games. Good teachers put on a fabulous show and clearly they're the best thing to look at in their classroom. "Some of the other teachers could get their kids' attention but they did not secure that deep engagement that the most effective teachers did."
The study, In Teachers' Hands, revealed all teachers paid attention to the teaching of letter-sound relationships or phonics. But the less effective teachers were more likely to teach phonics as an isolated activity without linking it to books and themes the children were studying. Their understanding of phonics was weak and their explanations often confused their students.
Overall, the less effective teachers had a limited view of early literacy teaching and tended to rely on "busy-work" activities that were not tailored to their students' different abilities and needs.
THE difference between the best teachers of young children and ineffective teachers is not what they do, but how they do it. A landmark study of Australia's primary schools has revealed that all prep and grade 1 teachers tend to teach the same literacy activities, such as shared book reading, modelled writing and phonics. But their success depends on how they present the activities.
The study, commissioned by the Federal Government, sought to identify effective teaching practices that lead to improved literacy of students in the first two years of school. The literacy skills of 2000 children in every state and territory were assessed at the start and the end of the year. A team of researchers then visited schools in Victoria, NSW, Queensland and Tasmania to observe children and their teachers in the classroom.
The study found all of the teachers were able to get their students to take part in classroom activities and have some fun. However, the most effective teachers - those whose students made the biggest literacy gains over the year - drew on a much wider repertoire of teaching practices. They explained activities more clearly, had deeper subject knowledge, maintained a high level of intellectual challenge for their students and had more fun than did less-effective teachers. "Good teachers are able to figure out where every child is at and set them a task that's hard for them," said Professor William Louden, dean of education at the University of Western Australia, who led the team of researchers, together with Associate Professor Mary Rohl, of Edith Cowan University.
"Good teachers had the most fun in their classrooms: the lessons were lively, fast-paced, and full of jokes and little classroom games. Good teachers put on a fabulous show and clearly they're the best thing to look at in their classroom. "Some of the other teachers could get their kids' attention but they did not secure that deep engagement that the most effective teachers did."
The study, In Teachers' Hands, revealed all teachers paid attention to the teaching of letter-sound relationships or phonics. But the less effective teachers were more likely to teach phonics as an isolated activity without linking it to books and themes the children were studying. Their understanding of phonics was weak and their explanations often confused their students.
Overall, the less effective teachers had a limited view of early literacy teaching and tended to rely on "busy-work" activities that were not tailored to their students' different abilities and needs.
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