Communicating without words

“The gesture is the thing truly expressive of the individual – as we think so will we act.” -- Martha Graham

Every movement and non-movement we make is a form of communication.
How do you communicate fear, withdrawal, avoidance, shutting down, disagreeing, and an uncaring attitude?

If you aren’t sure, others can probably tell you. Begin to pay attention to what your eyes and arms and facial expressions communicate. Our body language speaks louder than our words.

“An avoidance of true communication is tantamount to a relinquishment of my self-being; if I withdraw from it I am betraying not only the other but myself.” Karl Jaspers

Quotable quotes

“Learning to communicate is like taking out an insurance policy. You never know when you’ll need it, but it’s too late to take it out after you need it” - Allan Kaufman

Conscious communication

“If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.” -- Marshall B. Rosenberg
Conscious communication requires us to be truly present to what is occurring. When we are unconscious, we both speak to and react to others out of habit. And in the face of what we perceive as someone’s judgment and criticism, we automatically (and unconsciously) defend, withdraw or attack.
To communicate consciously requires attention to two areas:
I need to speak from awareness of what I am perceiving, feeling and needing, and
Through watching and listening, I need to be aware of those same needs in others.
“When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.” -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

Communicating with Parents – the third partner in student development

Good communication between teachers and parents doesn't just happen. It requires special skills — such as good listening techniques, tact, kindness, consideration, empathy, enthusiasm, and an understanding of parent-child relationships. No matter how you interact with parents and the community at large — through conferences, telephone conversations, e-mail, written notes or reports, lobbying or fund-raising efforts, working together in the classroom — good communication and interpersonal skills will enhance your efforts.

Veteran teachers stress the importance of effective communication skills. We need to be honest and sensitive. Remember that you are talking about their most valuable family resource — their family's future. Always be tactful with parents. Think and plan what you are going to say to them, and how. Never be confrontational. Always speak in a pleasant voice, yet with firmness and authority when needed. Keep in mind that parents really love their children.

Writing about at-risk families and schools, L.B. Liontos lists other "beliefs" that teachers must adopt to work effectively with families:

All families have strengths.

Parents can learn new techniques.

Parents have important perspectives about their children.

Most parents really care about their children.

Cultural differences are both valid and valuable.

Many family forms exist and all are legitimate.

Recognize that schools and homes have shared goals. Both are committed to the nurturing, development, and education of children. Teachers must believe that parents have a crucial role in their children's education, and parents and teachers must trust each other.

Respect caregivers and communicate that respect. Tone of voice, word choice, facial expressions, body language, expectations, how long we make people wait — all these communicate respect or lack of it. Many parents have personal, family, work, health, or other problems that we know nothing about. Avoid being judgmental, and give parents the benefit of the doubt.

Acknowledge the changes in family circumstances. In most families, both parents work outside the home, including the families of school teachers. Yet many of us still think of this common lifestyle as an aberration. Further, millions of children come from single parent homes. Still others live with relatives or in foster homes.

Be positive! Parents enjoy positive communication, yet most teachers only make contact when something goes wrong.