Insurance Company

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against .... get this .... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued ... and won!! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested... on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms.

Laws of the Natural Universe

• Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
• Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
• Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal.
• Law of the Alibi: If you tell boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
• Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will
start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
• Law of Close Encounters: Probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
• Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
• Sporting Event Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last and during the most critical time in the game.
• Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: Chances of an open-faced jam sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to newness,
colour and cost of carpet and/or rug.
• Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
• Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
• Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.