Dog facts

Random family images

I think we need an old priest and a young priest...

Random family images

Cute as a button. Why do dogs like houses so much? Security?

Dog vs Cat

A dog was chasing a neighboring cat around the block. The dog soon had the cat flattened. What did the cat say...?

Me-Owww!!!

Dog Logic

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy
Rooney

Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love & always have to mix love & hate. -Anonymous

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise -Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Pal is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.-Mark Twain

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret

Pat the dog

One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks: 'does your dog bite?' the old man replies 'No never'. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says 'I thought you said your dog did not bite! 'I did' replies the old man, but this isn't my dog!'

Instructions on how to clean your toilet

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

4. The cat will self agitate. You may need to stand on the lid and give the cat time to make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where it will dry itself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

SINCERELY,
THE DOG

New puppy!

Meet Bella, our new Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. The most relaxed, confident, fiesty and complete pup I've ever owned.

Instructions for cleaning the toilet:

1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.
2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.
3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.
4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will produce generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.
5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.
6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.
7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off
naturally due to the high speed he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.
8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.
With best wishes,
The Dog

Dogs 6

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually . then buy a dog.

Dogs 5

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ..... then buy a dog.

Dogs 4

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies then buy a dog.

Dogs 3

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want. then buy a dog.

Dogs 2

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says it's not quite as good as his mother made it .... then buy a dog.

Dogs 1

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you then buy a dog.