Body Piercing

Body piercing has been banned in schools,
With the exception of the ears,
If this wasn't done by us,
There'd be piercings in their rears.
Besides, the oldest of our kids is thirteen,
Really too young for such things,
Piercing has many decisions,
And the responsibilities that brings.
Although one child amused me recently,
Plain for all to see,
He had his eyebrow pierced,
Held open by a golf tee.
I called him into the office,
Inquired if he new the rules,
That piercings were not appropriate,
Did he think us fools?
"Oh no, Mr Ymir, I know you're not a fool,
But you have to see,
This is not a piercing,
It's just a golf tee."
Without warning I reached behind,
And put a ball on it's top,
I asked him not to tremble,
And for all movement to stop.
He smiled at me sheepishly,
And had seen the joke,
He thought it was ending there,
But there was still more fun to poke.
Then I grabbed a golf club,
See, I was ready for this guy,
I would up behind my head,
And was ready to let fly.
He jumped backwards in a flash,
The tee he pulled from his brow,
And our school piercing policy,
Is adhered to unquestioningly now.