Communicating with Parents – the third partner in student development

Good communication between teachers and parents doesn't just happen. It requires special skills — such as good listening techniques, tact, kindness, consideration, empathy, enthusiasm, and an understanding of parent-child relationships. No matter how you interact with parents and the community at large — through conferences, telephone conversations, e-mail, written notes or reports, lobbying or fund-raising efforts, working together in the classroom — good communication and interpersonal skills will enhance your efforts.

Veteran teachers stress the importance of effective communication skills. We need to be honest and sensitive. Remember that you are talking about their most valuable family resource — their family's future. Always be tactful with parents. Think and plan what you are going to say to them, and how. Never be confrontational. Always speak in a pleasant voice, yet with firmness and authority when needed. Keep in mind that parents really love their children.

Writing about at-risk families and schools, L.B. Liontos lists other "beliefs" that teachers must adopt to work effectively with families:

All families have strengths.

Parents can learn new techniques.

Parents have important perspectives about their children.

Most parents really care about their children.

Cultural differences are both valid and valuable.

Many family forms exist and all are legitimate.

Recognize that schools and homes have shared goals. Both are committed to the nurturing, development, and education of children. Teachers must believe that parents have a crucial role in their children's education, and parents and teachers must trust each other.

Respect caregivers and communicate that respect. Tone of voice, word choice, facial expressions, body language, expectations, how long we make people wait — all these communicate respect or lack of it. Many parents have personal, family, work, health, or other problems that we know nothing about. Avoid being judgmental, and give parents the benefit of the doubt.

Acknowledge the changes in family circumstances. In most families, both parents work outside the home, including the families of school teachers. Yet many of us still think of this common lifestyle as an aberration. Further, millions of children come from single parent homes. Still others live with relatives or in foster homes.

Be positive! Parents enjoy positive communication, yet most teachers only make contact when something goes wrong.