Laws of the Natural Universe

• Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
• Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
• Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal.
• Law of the Alibi: If you tell boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
• Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will
start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
• Law of Close Encounters: Probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
• Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
• Sporting Event Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last and during the most critical time in the game.
• Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: Chances of an open-faced jam sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to newness,
colour and cost of carpet and/or rug.
• Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
• Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
• Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.