Learn From All: Share Your Dream with Few

by Bob Burg

According to a close friend of mine, she keeps sharing her dream (in this case we are defining a dream as an ultimate business success goal) with people who call her "silly" and otherwise put her down for having that dream.

I asked her, "why put yourself through that?"

Roy Disney was notorious as the person who always told his brother, Walt why something "couldn't" be done. Of course, Walt typically did it anyway, and quite often his projects succeeded, but he respected his brother's wisdom enough to take counsel in what he said. That's fine. I also have a "Negative Nellie" - type person I seek out to run ideas past because I know that, if he tells me it's a winner; it probably is. But, if he tells me it's a loser; even if I don't agree with him and decide to go ahead anyway, I'll usually learn a couple good points in which I need to re-think my plans. That's different from what my friend is doing.

You see, if you're sharing your dream with those you feel close to and being flat-out insulted or put-down because of this, you're not doing yourself (or your dream) a service, but instead doing something most likely very counterproductive to achieving your goals.

However, it might be a good idea to consider the source. If that person has a track record of accomplishment, it certainly would be worthwhile for her to seriously weigh that advice. And, remember what Jim Cathcart says, "....a realist is simply a pessimist who doesn't want to admit it. I've never heard a 'realist' take an optimistic posture on any topic. I like Jim's take. And, I think it's important - not only that we seek out people who, at best, support our dreams and, at worst, critique with "consideration and thoughtfulness" (meaning they are truly considering their suggestions and are filled with thought) - that we do the same when someone runs an idea past us.

This doesn't mean we should tell someone that we think their idea is terrific if we think it's a "turkey." What it does mean is that, if we don't feel it's going to be the next big success, we consider it carefully, and explain why. And, it goes without saying, that we do so with "consideration and thoughtfulness" (in this case, meaning we consider their feelings and filled with thought on how we phrase our critique).

Remember, most people are not interested in your dream. And, half of those who are interested, are only interested because it gives them a chance to say something negative about it; thus making themselves feel temporarily better.

So, choose wisely those with whom you share your dream.
Learn from everyone, but share your dream with few.