There’s a Hole In Their Thinking

(Sung to the tune of There’s a Hole in the Bucket)
You know the student who has excuse after excuse for the homework that’s missing. “I did it. I really did. I just left it at home.” And the student who’s brought in homework that’s clearly been chewed: “You’ll never believe this, but my dog actually did eat it.” It does happen, of course, but more often than not, you’re simply listening to a student’s creative powers of excuse-making.

There’s a hole in your thinking, dear student, dear student,
A hole in your thinking, dear student, a hole.
Well, I don’t get your meaning, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I don’t get your meaning, dear teacher, I don’t.
Well, I gave you some homework, dear student, dear student.
It’s well overdue now, dear student, it is.
But my grandmother’s ailing, dear teacher, dear teacher.
My grandmother’s ailing, dear teacher, she is.
Did you bring me a note from your mother, dear student?
A note from your mother, dear student, would do.
Well, my mother’s away with my ailing grandmother.
My mother‘s too busy to write you right now.
Well, your father could write me that letter, dear student.
Your father could write me, dear student, he could.
But my father is travelling in China, dear teacher.
My father is travelling in China, he is.
Well, you have ‘til tomorrow to bring the assignment.
You have ‘til tomorrow to do it, you do.
Well, tomorrow is here and I did it, dear teacher.
I did the assignment, but left it at home.
Well, you have ‘til the end of the day still to bring it.
You have ‘til the end of the day, then no more.
Well, this time I brought it, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I brought it and put it inside your mailbox.
Well, I looked in my mailbox and I could not find it.
I looked in my mailbox and it was not there.
I’ll check in my backpack, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I’ll just be a minute; oh, look here it is.
But it’s all crumpled up and I barely can read it.
It’s all crumpled up with no sign of your name.
Well, I’ll sign my name on it, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I’ll sign my name; now can we say that it’s done?
Well, I checked your work over, dear student, dear student.
There’s only one problem and here’s what it is.
But I answered the questions, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I answered the questions; I answered them all.
Yes, you answered completely, dear student, dear student,
But all of your answers are just like your friend’s!
Well, I don’t know how that could have possibly happened.
We must think alike ‘cause we’re very good friends.
There’s a hole in your thinking, dear student, dear student;
A hole in your thinking, dear student, a hole.