Profit From Life's Losses

by John Chappelear, Author of “The Daily Six”

Ever notice everyone’s on a low fat diet after the heart attack? Everyone has time for their kids after the divorce? Everyone’s a financial genius after a bankruptcy? As managers, supervisors and executives, we’re trained to judge our success on the size of our departments, budgets, sales, profits, bank accounts and the deals we make. When I had my own $50 million-a-year business, that’s what I thought, too. Being a successful CEO, I figured if I just worked hard enough, I’d wind up on top. Failure is something that happens to the other guys.That’s when it happened to me. I lost everything. Everything I thought was important. Money, power, prestige. Gone. My position as CEO? Gone, too. Although I didn’t know it then, I had been given a gift, a “Gift of Desperation” that changed me, and my outlook for the better. In the end, it made me a more successful person, too. We can all recognize a “Gift of Desperation”. It’s the “a-ha” that comes at the darkest of times. Speak with anyone who has had a life-changing experience, and they’ll tell you how much it has led them to appreciate each and every day. They have a higher sense of awareness and focus on living each day with joy.

Still need convincing? Look how people in the US pulled together after 9-11-01. People actually started talking, connecting--and not just friends and family, but strangers on the news or at the corner store. I had clients all over the country remarking something like this: “I never really appreciated just how important (blank) was, until now,” they’d say. The way that (blank) got filled in varied from person to person, and organization to organization, but suddenly I could tell they had begun to notice that there was more to life than profits and possessions. The horror of that experience became a gift to many who chose to see the lessons.

When I received my “Gift of Desperation” I began to notice, FINALLY, something was missing in my life. It wasn’t success that was missing. It was significance. Most CEOs have the same symptoms I did: We have a gorgeous house, but are hardly around to enjoy it. We eat at private lunch clubs, but we’re still hungry inside. Our expensive watches can’t keep our time from slipping away. We have kids, but we may never really appreciate them. I didn’t, either--until involuntary unemployment kept me home instead of frantic and at the office. “Pick me up, Daddy!” my three-year-old son kept saying. “It’s good for you.” Now how did he know that? But you know what, he was right.

Here I had been rushing, rushing, rushing--because I needed everything to be perfect. And then I would finally get back to my family and friends. I just needed to get all my ducks in a row. People, have you ever tried to get a duck in a row? I finally realized that I had to stop waiting for my life to get perfect to be happy. I’ve discovered that we can all change our lives dramatically for the better--and we can do it before the gift of desperation. It takes a new sense of focus, and it also takes acting on a few new thoughts:

Start each day with an awareness that you are here for a purpose other than to satisfy demands to add stuff to your life. I do this with a few morning minutes of meditation; other people read a book or take a walk. After a while, you’ll find your own path to peace and self-awareness.

Make serving others a primary focus.

Help someone in your office be more successful.

Hold the door for someone.

Start a mentoring program, be a big brother or sister, or call a local volunteering program.

Slow down. I was always so busy pushing for the next big break that sometimes I ran right past it. So take a few minutes to take a deep breath, step back and enjoy life a bit, and you’ll be surprised how many opportunities personally and professionally just show up.
Start now. You don’t have to remake your whole life overnight. Small changes when practiced consistently will create dramatic results. Remember, you’re choosing to act--before a "Gift of Desperation" is forced on you. Keep at it and soon you will look back and be amazed how far you’ve come, and so will your co-workers and loved ones. And while I may believe in deathbed conversions, acting ahead of time is a whole lot more satisfying